documents of those good times

2011-09-18T22:38:00.002+08:00

Humans are such creatures of habits, that the past culture and behaviour learnt from family members cast a great impact in your subsequent life. I feel that I have very different aspirations and could have been doing things a lot differently. But habits cultivated from my past tens of years have embedded deep impact in my behaviour and so-called interests. Past few weeks I've again found myself meddling with computer hardwares, researching, exploring, and optimising it to its fullest speed. Downloading some popular games, getting my hands on it, blah blah. In the end when I'm done, then there comes the question: so what? What has been changed, really.

At 23 year old, in half a month's time to be exact, I'm supposedly at my prime age, getting to the top of my game and experiencing life to its fullest. Life is relatively good now, but that's not what I call living a life. I've many interests yet to be explored, and I found myself locked in this country, limited by the activities. weather and landscapes available. Not sure if this is what you call grass is greener on the other side. To think of it, my girlfriend studying in Melbourne doesn't seem to be living a much different life than before, anyway.

I need to get out of this shell and be another person. I need to not be me.

2011-06-04T13:32:00.000+08:00

I've almost forgotten I have these written memories. A good read to reflect on how far I've come and how I grew to who I am this day. I've planned to revive this and continue my life-long documents to show myself, when time washes away mental images of these good times.

2011-06-04T11:11:00.000+08:00

This post was written in 2009. Meant to be a post to predict my future 2 years later. Feels kind of surreal to be actually living beyond this timeline already! Nothing actually went accurate about this post. I didn't take up part-time after Poly, spent the days with Joan. Instead of NTU Business rejecting me, I rejected NTU offer and took up NUS Business. No graduation trip to Aussie, ended up seeing us at Genting HAHAHAH. And the group still remains tight in Whatsapp and we meet almost every monthly!

The marketing job I took up is real boring. Since I'm only a poly grad they don't really give me anything else than mundane admin assignments. Damn. Should have stayed with the advertising job I got in internship. Well, at least occasionally I've wedding shoots on the weekends to spice up my life.

Funny as it is, all these opportunities for shoots started from having met up a guy in BBDC when we both failed our practical. That was already one year ago. I was just casually talking to him, exchanged namecards and he asked if I wanted to help him for this wedding on last December.

But I guess I won't be making photography my full-time job.

Oh and did I say I got rejected by NTU Business? Bleh, there goes my dream of direct honors in 3 years. As a consolation, I got accepted by NUS FASS. Funny, a poly grad going to an arts course which most stuffs we didn't come across in poly at all. Well, guess I'd just make the best out of all I've got now.

So we've officially graduated. Graduation ceremony took place last week. Oh well. I haven't had enough of Poly life - the endless stream of projects, meetings, crazy dmc mates, Oops!, parties, awesome lecturers, the drinkings and my irreplaceable groupmates.

Cliche as it is, these 3 years passed by so quickly it's over before we realized.

And I'm glad that our graduation Australia trip is actually realized. At least we would have more sweet memories to look back on, for times like now when our meet-ups are few and far between.

Everyone's been busy with their own stuffs. Gerald and me are going to be enlisted next month. Adam is already going in tomorrow. The girls have already started working. Gosh. Felicia is staying with her PR position she got in internship and going to new zealand next year for uni. Shumay has found a temp. job in marketing and is preparing for her ntu admission. Liying has got a place in melb uni and is preparing to go over soon. Lucky asses.

We've planned to meet at least twice every half-yearly. But I wonder if that's going to happen at all. And damn, am I missing the crazy loads of projects we had to complete together. The presentation, pitches, reports, surveys, stay-overs.

Sigh. Those were the days.

2011-06-04T11:00:00.000+08:00

This post was written in 2009. Meant to be a post to predict my future 2 years later. Feels kind of surreal to be actually living beyond this timeline already! This post is relatively true to the actual days of BMT, except that my girlfriend was overseas, and there was zero guys' nights out!

Hello peeps, haven't updated for almost 2 months already. I actually wonder if there's anyone still reading my blog. Hmmm, and army's stuffs all the same, you'd probably see the same thing on every other NS guy's blog, but oh well, I'm going to blog it all the same. This have long become a personal record of my life. I'm not going to miss out this two years of boredom, too.

Sometimes our adaptability, to changing environment and close ones, are so good it scares me.

Pop is in 4 week's time. We're going to get the hell out of here soon. Lucky I've gotten a silver and didn't have to serve 2 addition months of bmt more. Though refreshing and the occasional fun, it's not that great here. And what's worst, there's no girls in Tekong. HAHAHAH. Okay, sorry, don't kill me my dear. Seeing you on weekends is enough ok, ok.

Oh guy's night later. It'd be Zouk again. Seriously I'm getting bored and especially with our hair like this everyone will just perceive we're some despos there. Crap.

See ya. (ps. to those out there in uni now I'm freaking jealous)

2009-11-02T23:43:00.003+08:00

Blog changed to
http://www.alecgoh.wordpress.com/ !

2009-09-28T01:07:00.005+08:00

I'm the most filial!

I'm the most filial, for spending 5% of my free time with my family and 95% behind this screen
I'm the most filial, for not talking much to my brother even though he's always just beside my computer.
I'm the most filial, for I frequently shoo them off when they just want to talk more with me, citing having no time.
I'm the most filial, for I many times gave a disappointed face at the food my grandma cooked, when she always put in her best
I'm the most filial, for I have not hugged my grandma since 12 years ago.
I'm the most filial, for not even remembering their birth dates.

I'm the most filial, because they think I am.

An early birthday celebration for me, heheh.
Would not be in town for 30th cuz I'm going for a little getaway!
An all-guys tour. I wonder what would we end up in.
Think hangover.

Redang, here we come!

2009-09-06T00:55:00.000+08:00

So it's all back to planning what to do, where to go, and how to do them.

2009-09-05T02:42:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder have i grown strong emotionally or am I getting detached from emotions. I've done an extensive test on Personality Traits and i get this under my emotional section.

Neuroticism (Emotional stability)

This trait refers to the way you cope with, and respond to, life's demands. Approximately 16% of respondents have a lower neuroticism raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who is calm and emotionally stable. Based on your responses, you come across as someone who is rarely bothered by things, and when they do get you down the feeling does not persist for very long.

Reflective question: When do your emotions (or lack of emotions) get in the way of good decision making?

I guess the answer to that question should be good for military style decision-making but bad for the creative side. I used to think it doesn't matter but as I mix with new groups of people, out of my comfort zone, I realized what has been working for me now may not work in the soon future.

And the next point I've confirmed is that after teenage, a guy would appear much more attractive if he's driven, passionate about his interest and most ideally have a bright future. (Ps. different from rich spoilt brats) HAHAHAH.

Back to the point, I've been through quite a number of shit holes, stood up by myself again, again and again. Important question is, have i grown strong or have I grown detached, numbed and senseless. I didn't feel much about today's disappointment. But that's good for this case as I could quickly move on and seek for more opportunities.

And due to the regret, I'm officially *quite* free for the next one year, which calls for new plans. My friend in Brisbane is inviting me over to her apartment, and I'm thinking it's really a good opportunity. Apparently the cheapest flight there by Qantas is only 700 dollars. But I'm always just talks about such unusual ideas. Ah fuck, I should really stop restraining myself and go for it.

2009-09-01T15:17:00.002+08:00

Yesterday night was spent chilling and chatting at a kopi tiam again. I'm starting to really appreciate having friends that understand me and listen to all my complaints and insecurities. I used to be the one listening, and am glad that now there is people to listen to me.

2009-08-30T00:25:00.003+08:00

Recently, whenever I had an inspiriting blog idea, I'd either be too busy or lazy to blog. So ironically, now that I've both time and energy, I'm missing out ideas. Dang.

Life has been fulfilling and packed. Holiday is here. 8 weeks of it but probably all will be used up for Far East Plaza (FEP) Marketing Communication planning. The team is much much more efficient than I'd expect. Thumbs up! =)

These few days are the time I'm starting to slow down my pace of life and catch a few glances at the lives around me. I don't know how to exactly put my thoughts across here. All I can say is I have been learning very much from my friends. A lot about life.

They are right. Time passes so much faster when you turn twenty. Life would become more of a pursuit than a journey. Cause everything just happen so quickly and so much more things are demanded on you, you don't have the luxury to take it your way slowly.

I'm learning how to have fun amidst the busiest or most-worrisome situations. =)

2009-08-08T15:57:00.003+08:00

Blogger's weird these days. I don't see icons and shortcuts here anymore. Lazy to find codes for posting pictures hence I'd leave photos later.

Hmm.

Life's been really good. It's so good that I'm already starting to think I'd miss all these days soon when the semester ends and internship steps in. I'm not a workaholic yet I'm enjoying every single part of these projects, campaigns, assignments and reports.

Major ones are mostly down as of last Friday and all would end next Monday. Oh man, everything's so fast it's already August. National day tomorrow! I can still clearly remember last december and it feels just like a few months ago.

Good news kept setting in for me, I'm damn glad about all these, but have little time to express my happiness. I'd have to concentrate on next piles of work every other time. I realise that I'm starting to achieve all that I've been hoping for and even more. Heheh. I guess all that I'm missing out now is just that someone.

But maybe not this time, just not yet. Occasionally I'd envy those who are attached. Other times I'm glad I'm single and free. Besides, I've other things to concentrate on first.

Are You Guilty? Campaign

Frankly, I'm very proud of my team. On a personal level, I feel our campaign is awesome. Considering all other modules that we have to multi-task with this FYP, we've done a great job. We've achieved all visions and objectives we've set for ourselves and even more. Getting all those sponsors are what we'd not have expected. I've learnt from Ms Nga that asking is always free. Hahah.

Other than sponsors, I'm proud that we've managed a considerable event. Not too much work was put in yet the amount of target audience was definitely cool. 120 people. The last event we managed was only 20 odd kids! Liaison with the movie theater and sponsors was also quite impressive I think. Of course not on a professional level, but I think for first-timers we've learn a lot. And yesterday I was at marina square and saw a similar but professional Movie Screening event. I grinned. Everything there was so similar to Are You Guilty? movie screening. The goodie bags, the ticketing booth, the lucky dip, the photographer, and the attention it got from passers-by. All these we've done it even without anyone else guiding us.

My Dream

I received a call about a month back. It's about my internship, and from then on I've gotten my dream job. A Marcom Agency for a considerable organization. It's for Far East Plaza! And basically the 6 of us would be the Agency for all Advertising and Promotion for the mall. Budget given for the year-long campaign is a quite a lot, but i can't say how much since its sensitive. From conceptualizing, planning, executing and evaluating, all would be done solely by us.

=D

2009-07-28T01:54:00.000+08:00

This few weeks have taught me that limits for endurance simply do not exist.
Work just keep piling up till the point which we can't breathe.
And to top it off, while others are just struggling with school work,
my student Marcom Agency is an additional big truckload of work.

But oh well it's gonna pay off.

2009-07-19T00:01:00.004+08:00

Life has been treating me good.

Sometimes I find that coming to DMC was, after all, the best thing happened to me. And I've been especially lucky I guess. There's just so many experiences I'd never get elsewhere.

And, I'm all excited to embark the next big step of my life soon! =D

On a side note, everyone's getting all drained and stressed from the onslaught of deadlines, FYP and expectations. And I'm quite surprised the relationship of the team is strained too. We never had a single quarrel before, but recently we've been on the verge of that. This period would be the toughest test of our entire poly life.

I'd say our relationship is an unique one. It's usually difficult to balance friendship and colleague relationship as one. But we've been doing relatively well.

And things are going pretty well. FYP has been a success so far. First week of campaign is over. 3 weeks more to go. For now, we're either meeting if not slightly exceeding our TA numbers scheduled on the timeline. I still don't get it why is it only 4 credit module. Or maybe we haven been over-killing with our efforts and campaign scale on this small module.

And we have become so accustomed to the process of securing, liaison and dealing with sponsors. Though we sometimes doubt and find ourselves not meeting the expectations we set, I guess we've all, unknowingly, become quite capable as media people.

=)

2009-06-25T00:19:00.003+08:00

The night is here, and so is silence. Silence either brings us despair and fear, or peace and serenity. Today, it's a mix.

Recently I've been bugged by boredom, fatigue and procrastination. Not very good for the holidays, since it all just leads to a downward spiral. Procrastination leads to staying home and doing absolutely nothing useful. Doing nothing useful makes me feel guilty, bored and unfulfilled. That which, leads to sleeping too much, feeling fatigue and therefore procrastination. I've just wasted 2 of 3 weeks away.

Oh, and my money flow has been going negative.

Okay okay, sorry about the boring stuffs.

-

I do miss you sometimes. Funny, I'd utter your name in times of despair.

2009-06-09T02:44:00.002+08:00

My first test failure after 2 and a half year.

The irony, that my Mum always have to be beside me, watching, when the upper-ones tell me I failed. It's the second time now. And she's not there the times when I triumph.

And the most infuriating part is the tester told me, "You should have passed if not for that mistake." I only went in twice, I don't even know where I have to stop. It's a freaking common sense rule for those who went in sufficiently. And my circuit warm-up session was halved. Got to share with another testee of my instructor. Bloody hell.

Oh well. I was damn angry, not upset, initially, not with anyone else, but just angry, maybe with myself. Lucky thing is, I got to book another date before my FTT ends.

2009-06-07T00:21:00.002+08:00

The 3 weeks of holiday is here.
I wasn't looking forward to it. Brother's going over to Cambodia and grandma's going back to Pontian this holiday. It effectively means if I'd be home alone.

Oh well, such times call for more hangouts. Kind souls reading this post please ask me out more often k.

Oh and I'm really hoping the h1n1 situation wouldn't be worsened. It's like the second last term. I'm not getting enough of school life. Also, I want my IMC to be really IMC and not just being done online. Gosh, it'd be so lame.

2009-06-05T17:21:00.002+08:00

I think I'm slowly developing a passion for writing. Although I don't excel at it at all, I find self-expression through the art of writing.

And Monday will be the test. Man. Nervousness.
Bless me.

2009-06-02T10:08:00.002+08:00

My heart is pounding, hard. I'm jumpy, sleepless yet sleepy. I can't concentrate well and have to distract myself to feel better.

I'm nervous. I'm fearing. And I don't know why.

2009-05-26T13:52:00.005+08:00

Went for my driving lesson. The skies were grey, and winds were cold.
Then, it rained. Water droplets splashed on the windscreen.
My vision, blurred.

Then my instructor told me about how time flies. O levels is going to start soon.
He could vividly remember how many years ago, while he was teaching a trainee,
he received a call. His wife gave birth. As he was rushing home, his colleagues laughed at him, in joy, that he was already so old. He had his first child.
Then he told me about how his kid already preparing for his O levels now.

I couldn't see the roads clearly. But I'm enjoying every moment of it.
Walking in life, not knowing. The unpredictable. The big moments. The happiness.

2009-05-26T10:07:00.002+08:00

So I went Pontian again. Haven't been there since more than 2 years already.
The familiar feeling, a little like going back home. Went to my aunt's terrace.
Was tired, therefore attempted to take a nap on the bed.
The place where I spent my darkest days of life.
I kept feeling that you were laying beside me.
Weirdly, you've had never been, not there.
I closed my eyes, then, it was silence.

A brief moment of reminiscence.

2009-05-25T05:58:00.003+08:00

I dreamt of a huge fireball descending across the sky, outside my windows, and crashed into the roads. Smokes soon covered the entire estate. People ran away, I ran to the scene.

It was colorful, exhilarating.

2009-05-22T20:29:00.001+08:00

When I grow up, I want to be a little boy.

2009-05-20T23:00:00.005+08:00

Run. I was running, but today I took a different route. I purposely passed by the park, the plaza and the small roads. Silly. I was just trying my luck.

There's somewhere I wish I am at. The somewhere spells of peace, harmony, serenity, confidence, passions, classical and jazz pieces, fulfillment, relaxation and the lady. None seemed close enough, not just yet.

I kept running. Music plugged. It was hiphop, rnb and pop. None was good enough. The roads were busy. Filled with vehicles.

Noises.

I passed by the building. My primary school, I peered in. I could remember. The times of innocence, curiosity and weirdly helplessness also. Almost reaching the 4km, i unplugged. Noises were gone, and the roads were empty almost at the same time. My legs stopped. I started walking. A moment of serenity. I couldn't describe the sense of release. More than overwhelming.

That was a good 10seconds, only.

Vehicles began swarming in the bend again. Then I started running again.

This time, unplugged.

2009-05-16T06:24:00.003+08:00

I need an adjust to my body-clock. Ive been sleeping at 10pm, and that's what land me automatically at 6am like this.

I woke up wide-awake, energetic, but I'm not really happy.
There's something lacking. I can't put across what this something is. I think it's something like the truth. I'm sick of the ambiguity, this tension it creates.

2009-05-14T03:30:00.005+08:00

just a random realisation. a small thinking. i realised that in almost 21 years of my life, i haven't been a good friend to anyone. maybe it's just in me. maybe i'm just lazy. or maybe because i just didn't believe in friendship, viewing from my father and mother's stories.

i have been a bad friend to everyone reading this.

----

drank with s15 guys, those closer, non-superficial friends. so one is going through a breakup. a 4 year r/s. and whatever i said just hit on the right spot. why it happened, what's going to happen, and what is she doing. everything is just so similar to mine and g's. the inevitable ending when neither party is really at wrong.

that's the fashion. when environment and situation changes, r/s changes.

what a waste, what a waste.

2009-05-13T09:39:00.003+08:00

I don't know if i should be saying this here. I think I'm getting tired from trying. Really have no idea what's your stand and attitude. Think I'm going to just give up trying. yeah.

2009-05-12T09:37:00.002+08:00

There is one inevitable part of life that we hate. Everyone experiences it daily on a varying degree. Sometimes, it drags us down when we already are not doing well. Sometimes it makes us bite our lips, shiver and unable to talk. Sometimes, it makes us just want to run away from everything. It can be the root that causes us to inflict hurt on others. Yet it may also be the catalyst for us to hurdle on in times of trouble and excel in life.

This part of our life is called fear.

I haven't felt it for so long now. And unlike other situations, I can't really run away from this.

Bless me.

2009-05-05T22:40:00.003+08:00

It's Tuesday again. Absolutely no lessons.
Drove a little. Did a small part of FYP.
Sole winner in Mahjong, again. Strangely, as always, I feel guilty.
Here I am, sitting in front of the screen, blogging, listening and talking.

This little part of my life is called
relaxation

2009-05-03T23:59:00.003+08:00

There is an essay due last Friday. I'm trying to get it done now.

I'm typing the essay, but eyes are more on the History Channel.
The words limit is only 350. I'm taking more than half an hour.
The doc has ended my essay hasn't, and I've decided to sleep first.

This little part of my life is called
procrastination.

2009-05-02T21:31:00.004+08:00

I decided not to talk to you as much,but I'm messaging you more than often.
When I'm not talking to you, I'd check msn if you're online.
When you're offline, I'd check facebook if you're appearing offline.

This little part of my life is called
addiction.

2009-04-12T23:43:00.006+08:00

Seems like I haven't come out with any substantial posts for a while.
Loads of thoughts have been running through, I don't even know what exactly to blog down. So I'd just write the random to start it off.

Basically some stuffs on what happened this holiday since its ending soon.

. Worked IT show and was surprised that pay was halved. Enjoyed myself thoroughly still.

. Halfway through my driving and am worried that I don't get enough lessons till TP on 08/06

. Befriended a Sweet =)

. Got on my first trip to Sao3 Mu4, and it was quite an experience.

. On the way back home for breakfast, saw my mum's husband taxi beside our car. Dad, mum, bro was inside the car. He was looking at my mum who sat beside me. We sat on the backseats. Wanted to smile to him but doesn't seem right. At first he was smiling to mum, but later face changed into an awkward expression too. He didn't see me tho. Hmm. Just weird.

. Went back to church on Easter day. Pastor was on the topic of The 7 Things One Hates About Christians. He was explaining how some traits of Christians are undesirable, and how we should not be Christians and not believe in Christianity (the shock factor, i respect) But be Christ-like, adopting only Christ's teachings. The previous night i was just telling Candace why I will never be a Christian. And the Easter Day service was right exactly on my point of me being Spiritual and not Religious.

. Sometimes I'm just surprised by the coincidence of the service and its relations to my life. The other time I needed healing and there the healing service was.

. School's starting and I shall make full use of this last week.

. At times I wonder if I did miss out any opportunities. I'm convincing myself that there wasn't any.

. I had a De Javu reading this post.

2009-04-12T12:51:00.000+08:00

and so i think i dreamt of you.

2009-04-07T23:38:00.001+08:00

you didn't even let me have another minute.

not even one minute.

2009-04-02T01:02:00.002+08:00

So this feeling of insecurity come streaming back again. The sense of not being enough. It's really just on the emotional part. It's like my brain knows I'm good but my heart just have doubts now and then. It's like almost a regular phase.

Oh well. I need a soul mate to rant, about everything.

2009-04-01T21:15:00.002+08:00

just something random here.
was surprised that there are actually a number of silent (tho a few are considered secret) readers on my blog.

hello there. =)

2009-03-28T23:05:00.004+08:00

What's more relaxing than sitting by the window after a day of work, with tranquilizing classical pieces plugged, and hands holding a romance novel.

I think this has got to be the most fulfilling holidays of my life. I've never had more satisfying and filled days. Friends, driving lessons, guitar learning, money, alcohol, party, novels, results.

2009-03-26T17:43:00.010+08:00

It's interesting how dreams can be far off our normal lives. Dreams reflects one's subconscious thinking about his current life. I think I have been having weird/out-of-ordinary dreams. Ahahah, what does that mean?

Anyway, scientists say as you try to recall dreams and write them down everytime you just woke up, you'd remember more and more of your dreams. And can decipher your dreams to know whats going on on your subconcious-mind. I'd try to recall my dreams every time i take a nap like just now.

Firstly, my dreams are colourful but have no sounds if i didn't recall wrongly. Some people's dreams have sounds but only in black and white, while others have no sound and no colours.

Okay, so there are basically three scenes in my dream just now. Like a movie eh?

First scene, someone or me, since i was in the first person view, was walking with a twin sisters. The setting is probably in the 1900s, Britian/America. So they were wearing this, except slightly more flamboyant.

Second scene, i saw this weird looking guy, wearing a cover on his left eye, probably one-side blinded. You know, those kind of typical bad ass/pirate in movies. He was walking on the train track, when a train suddenly went past, but in a flash, he was alr walking on the overhead bridge across the track. hahaha, wtf!?

Third scene, it was abt this two twin girls again, they seem rather conscious and later revealed that they were bodyguards protecting a person/me from the weird-looking-guy. It was implied that the guy is an infamous assassin. Oh. and they were standing beside this kind of classic carriage.

Interesting, was wondering what's next but something interrupted.
An idiot called my hp and ended the dream. -__-

Hahahah, interesting but really weird dream!
And why would I even dream about the 1900s in western setting.

hmmmm.

just wondering, how nice would it be to have this twin girls in real life. HAHAHAH.

2009-03-23T20:54:00.005+08:00

Apparently I have been oblivious to the surrounding.

Now.

It seems that the implied additional time to the said/specified meet-up time is 1 hour instead of the usual 30mins. I was late for 40 mins, yet I was the first to arrive. AND FELICIA WAS STILL AT HOME THEN. AHAHAH.

It was an awesome day out with the group still. Finally a outdoor activity and not just club, pub, club, pub, club, pub.

=)

2009-03-20T23:40:00.004+08:00

Work's a bore but fortunately I'm always able to do whatever I like there. Basically, I just finished a book. The Five People You Meet in Heaven. It never fails to intrigue my mind and touch my heart when the character met a person that has crossed his life.

Whether significant or not, people who crossed our lives someway or another all seem to have an permanent and unquestionable impact on our lives.

And just to name some random people.

My primary school teacher who used to slap me whenever I talked or had a wrong in the exercise questions. Surely depressed and definitely timid to complain. It only ended on one day my mum saw the red patch on my cheeks. She went right down to the school's principal, and that almost cost the madam her job. After then the madam seemed to be much more gentle with students. The small and weak me then, I realized how fierce my mum could get but when others treated me unreasonably, she never fails to protect me.

Though she no longer stays with me, as for the past 12 years, towards her, even until this age, it's so satisfying and proud to just gain a smile, a nod or simple recognition from my mum. Whether its just laughing to a joke i cracked, smile at how overconfidence I appear to be, or just words of pride of having me as a son when she sees me surviving strong and positive through life disasters and my first significant break up.

I realized like a kid, I still yearn to gain recognition. Though subtle, I want them to be proud of me.

And my dad, he doesn't exactly understand how tough it is to do well in studies. He just know we'd do well. He's more concerned with more typically manly stuffs like being cool and steady amidst troubles, and most notably, driving. Well, that's his job, a full-time driver. He proud of it and wants to be proud of us on that too. He'd get excited at what stage of driving lesson am I at, when I'm taking the test, what time is the test, which date is it. Hahaahah I think I'm relatively a good driver and will get the license to show him asap.

I bet he'd be proud of it.

And lastly, the book mentioned about how the character lost his wife many years ago. And when he met her in heaven, it was just like absolutely everything doesn't matter anymore - how did he die, did he die for what he wanted to achieve through his sacrifice, the people whom had caused the miseries of his life. He felt just like being home again. Somewhere he belonged, somewhere he's supposed to have many more years with. His wife died at a very young age. And he sort of hated her for leaving him so early.

I wonder, and also yearn to have a life partner just like that. Someone, a companion for life. I still believe I'd find someone loyal to stick with me throughout. Someone whom I can relate quickly back even after years of separation. The feeling of belonging.

Well.

The most significant read of the book would be the main lesson that he has to learn.

Letting go.

As I've gotten also from previous books I think I've sort of master how to truly let go. And I believe since death is going to strip us of everything and we finally had to let go of everything. Why not now. Letting go of our past relationships, our past failures, our regrets, our hatreds and even our past happiness. Without letting go of all these, we are constantly bearing burdens that accumulates and weigh us down as we walk through life.

And talking about past happiness. We have to let go of that as well, as I realized they inevitably set an unhealthy benchmark that render anything less as unsatisfactory.

I want to live everyday as a fresh new day.

So should you, my dear.

2009-03-18T00:08:00.003+08:00

I'VE DONE IT. =DDD LAST SEM RESULTS IS MY RECORD. =D

Student ID: 0742342
Name: GOH TEE CHIN

Module Code - Grade
-------------------
BA0227 - A
BA019B - A
SC7710 - A
SC7712 - A
SC7716 - A
SC7711 - DIST
SC7713 - B+

FUCKING 3.91! (SORRY NOT TO HL BUT I'M FUCKING HAPPY) =DDD

2009-03-17T02:10:00.004+08:00

IT show is over and I'm actually missing it. The buzz, the friendly customers, the irritating ones and mostly the promoters that I've befriended.

Silence brings us tranquility, reflections and also questions. I've made several self-discovery.

I realized I love leading the fast life now, being constantly on the move.

I recognized I'm a person who has a strong social need. I prefer to talk to a number of people than knowing just a few deeply. Guess I'm rather superficial in that sense.

I realized I'm easily attracted to girls, especially to those who are cute, elegant or have the girl-next-door look. Hot ones are not my cup of tea. I may seemed to be a flirt but I know I will treat one with sincerity and faithfulness.

I recognized the changes I've took since last year. So much more fun-loving, playful, on-the-move, seek accomplishments, love learning, outgoing, confident in front of people, and also apparently more guai lan.

I realized I like to communicate in English more, but am more at ease with Chinese. Can express more ideas in English but would be more wary than in Chinese. Conflicting.

Hope I'd complete my driving soon. And pray that my upcoming school results will be decent.

And its the first time I've a crush on someone who doesn't seem to have much interest on me. I guess I gave the wrong impression, ahah.

Well. =) I'm loving life.

2009-03-12T00:01:00.001+08:00

So what do you do when you just ended work, have work early tomorrow, tired, and yet you can't fall asleep.

Drink.

2009-03-11T00:38:00.003+08:00

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's ok. It's ok. It's ok.

Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and,
Please tell me you'll stay, woah stay woah

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be ok
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

=)

2009-03-09T19:23:00.004+08:00

Woke up to a nightmare just now. A rare occurrence. Rarely had any nightmares unless I'm going through a major disaster in life.

And the scary thing is the nightmare seem so possible to happen in the foreseeable future. So real. So very us.

I won't know what to do if the situation does come by.

fuck.

2009-03-07T01:37:00.004+08:00

just sharing a beautiful piece here - Crucify My Love by X Japan.
sound quality is low and muffled tho.

=)

2009-03-04T22:38:00.007+08:00

So acoustics has transferred ownership. its now named Jen's, and the owner is Jennifer. lol, self-obsessed like us. That explains why we find that she's awesome, even better than the previous owner who treated me baileys on my birthday. Thick-skin and friendliness to strangers. Yeah.

People call us social butterflies, but we like it that way. We are trained to be like this and it would be a valuable skill in both life and work!

And we used to drink half bottle and leave it for the next time but now we just finish one. Damn. Bunch of drinkers now.

Oh, and welcome back Ms. Busy! Your presence in the group was missed!

2009-03-03T12:23:00.003+08:00

Had four dreams last night which are quite interesting. But blogging it so lately, I could only remember the first and the last, hahah. One is about me picking up a film slr with a telephoto lens, which produces crisp, colourful images that amazed me. I still thought of using it for my next assignment on red jumpsuit concert. Last dream is about me meeting up with an old friend, who had changed into another person. We were chatting, then the friend wanted to kill me, lol! I was damn scared. Ball-less! Then a unfamiliar girl came and she pulled me and we both ran away from the house.

Funny dream!

Apart from the dreams, it's especially peaceful today.

I woke up to the chilling breezes from the windows.

The morning rain enhances the serenity. And now coupled with a few instrumental pieces by X Japan on the playlist.

It's a weekday and yet I have absolutely nothing to worry about. =)

and it's Fisherman's Warf and Acoustics tonight!

2009-02-25T19:08:00.005+08:00

Today, I saw Rainbows.

and they seem to form a cheeky smile.

Hmm, projects over, exams over.
Now I've 7 weeks to do whatever I like, wherever and whenever I can.

It's time to play. =)

＊今天我　寒夜裡看雪飄過
懷著冷卻了的心窩漂遠方
風雨裡追趕　霧裡分不清影蹤
天空海闊你與我　可會變〔誰沒在變〕

多少次　迎著冷眼與嘲笑
從沒有放棄過心中的理想
一剎那恍惚　若有所失的感覺
不知不覺已變淡　心裡愛〔誰明白我〕

＃原諒我這一生不羈放縱愛自由
也會怕有一天會跌倒
背棄了理想　誰人都可以
那會怕有一天只你共我

重唱　＊,＃

仍然自由自我　永遠高唱我歌　走遍千里

重唱　＃

背棄了理想　誰人都可以
那會怕有一天只你共我

重唱　＃

2009-02-21T05:01:00.007+08:00

Blogging at this weird hours again. There was indeed nothing creepy in fort canning at 3am. Hahah, and now i realized why Ly likes to go there.

Finally got invited to viewing someone's blog, wah everyone like getting so exclusive leh. But I don't wanna follow this trend, ahah.

Something inspiring quoted from there, 'there's nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.'

How often have we thought only of the convenience, and taking things without questioning ourselves. I guess I'm becoming someone like that.

2009-02-20T01:07:00.002+08:00

Nowadays it seems like an IN thing to have a small sign off remark after a post. And Im very tempted to write in the style, too!

Tolong tolong, let me do well for tmr's paper else.. I'm betting on the tips. So, bless me.

2009-02-19T01:59:00.002+08:00

'to forgive a woman's lie is a man's duty'

nono, not being emo. just matter-of-fact line quoted from something I've been watching recently. heheh.

and words are cheap, i never really believed in promises. so i guess.. there goes!

2009-02-16T23:40:00.004+08:00

Sometimes when I've long breaks, having nothing to do at home but just sitting in front of computer and stoning, I would feel surreal about my past life. Did everything happen to me happened, and have I really done the things I've done.

There is this detachment from reality that makes me feel empty. Maybe my life had been too fast for my mind to register.

Think about it.

I was in JC for two years. Really..?
My photos archive is already more than 100GB now. Did I take so many photos?
I had been attached for two years too. Are you serious?
I'm already 20 year old going to 21. Wtf.
And I've been spending most of my days for the past few years with bastards like gerald adam and fir, kiddy girls like shumay audre liying and felicia. And boy, have they grown so much. Jeez. 2 years alr!?!?

And I'm on my way to year 3.

The past just seem like a dream. Only the present feels like the reality.

And I suddenly feel this emptiness. The benchmark that the past had set makes anything lower now feels boring and unsatisfactory. I can't stand to stay home for even a day now.

Hmmm... I shall seek for a higher and different life.

2009-02-12T23:08:00.001+08:00

sometimes i wonder if you think of me

2009-02-12T05:13:00.004+08:00

Think i screwed my bio-clock, 514am, and after hours on the dance floor, I'm feeling wide awake. So now we're free till next wed for the next paper, and would be totally free on the following week. That would last for 6 weeks. Gotta make this holiday more fun-filled and with more accomplishments.

Car license, here I come!

oh, and our event was a SUCCESS. =) after days and days and days of planning, sketching, cutting, panicking. Everything ended within 1 hour 15 mins. Was abruptly informed to cut short of 15 mins when the event was commenced and halfway through, due to the management's cock-up in the booking of the room. And still we could speed through the other segments smoothly.

I'm proud of the team.

Adam the Batman
Firdhaus the Joker
Gerald and Lying the Facils
Felicia and Audre the Game Masters
Shumay the Emcee and second-in-charge
Alec the Slacker

And we've got an A nonetheless. =)

2009-02-09T21:06:00.003+08:00

Sometimes the things people do puzzle you.

But the things my church mates do really touch my heart. Haven't been to church for the past few months cause of my busy schedule and also laziness. And yesterday they heard that I was having examinations.

Guess what.

They came down today right to my doorstep and left me a box of brands. Written: "Hey Bro, jia you for Exams! To: Mr Martell".

Oh my, =D

2009-02-08T17:07:00.001+08:00

Found an interesting webpage that describes horoscopes and I think they are awfully true!

Libras have excellent instincts and intuition, most of the time they do not trust them enough. Libras are likely to be underachievers due to the easygoing attitude. This does not mean that they are necessarily lazy, they just make do with whatever comes their way. They do not want anything badly enough to fight for it. The only time that a Libra will usually stand up is if a situation is unfair, the only time a Libra will definitely stand up is if they feel something involving them is unfair. They need their respect and their fairness, after all, Libra has done so much for other people, it deserves at least fairness, right? When this issue comes into play, Libra becomes courageous.

Libras dislike hard work, they are lazy when it comes to getting their hands dirty and doing the work themselves. Fortunately, their intuitive instincts are good at telling them where money can come from. They can think up great business ideas that are original and bound for success, they can initiate the idea but they need someone else to do the work. Libras make good business partners but not good business people on their own. Libras have potential of being a good leader with their diplomatic ways, but but they are just too lazy to do the hard work required and climb a corporate ladder. A good way for Libra to become wealthy is through artistic endeavors. They can be painters, interior decorators, actors or writing screenplays or composing. These are great ideas because it incorporates Libra's hobby with a moneymaking venture.

Explains why I'm always lazy, but I still do work k. I do all the imaginations, HAHAH.

Libras love excitement, new situations, adventure and the unusual. They make friends with people from all walks of life and they are always up to something new and exciting with enthusiasm. Libras are great at getting along with people, everyone likes a Libra. They are all about partnerships and groups, they are the glue that hold a group together because they are the ones responsible for keeping harmony and peace. Libras have mastered the art of relationships, not just romantic but business, personal, and family relationships just to name a few. No one is able to see another person's point of view better then a Libra.

The Libra man is very popular with women because he is charming, harmonious and can relate to women on their level - a characteristic of Libra is the ability so see the world through the eyes of others. Libra men do this to seduce the girl and it always works. Look up to him, admire him, he is a sucker for flattery.

hmmm, rings a bell. but how come i seem to be wanting to seduce guys too? shit.

Libras have earned themselves a reputation for being indecisive, they simply do not want to hurt anyone's feelings or cause disorder or friction in a situation. This spills over inside the person and many times, Libras have difficulty making decisions.

now, thats something I've gotta train on. Being decisive... Should have been!

if you're interested, here goes the link - http://zodiac-signs-astrology.com/zodiac-signs/aquarius.htm

2009-02-07T23:07:00.006+08:00

I think I will miss poly days very much 1 year later. Moving on to year 3 soon and that's so damn fast!

and for once, bernard is cool. got me for a second.

Alec: hey, wanna go drink someday?
Bernard: duhhh.

Yeah, live fast, party hard. That's our life.

Don't worry, contrary to beliefs, I'm definitely not falling into decadence. I'm a very inner-directed person.

=)

2009-02-06T02:07:00.004+08:00

I'm weak and incapable at times. Sometimes demanding and sometimes brainless. I'm lazy most of the times but i need to be lazy to think well, hahah! honestly. Mood swings today.

Forgive me, teammates.

I'd try to be better!

2009-02-05T02:32:00.007+08:00

sometimes i ask myself how did i manage. how am i able to take things so easily and gentlemanly. moving on from one to another. keep moving on. even though the first may have meant a lot to me. well!

I guess.

cuz i'm always getting excited in life. =)

life is awesome!

2009-02-04T23:27:00.003+08:00

Kinda surprised that I got a lil tipsy after just 3/4 glass of wine, when I can take so much more whiskey. But i like the feeling of getting tipsy with wine while having dinner. Feels great as we talk, joke, well, mostly sexual jokes since i sat with the uncles, and enjoy the food.

hmmm. shld do this more often.

anw I'm $.$ now.
HAHAHA. got $230 alone just from my company. WOOHOO. Like bonus sial. and Im so gald i secured sponsorship for my event from V3. I'm so gonna stay and work hard in this company.

2009-02-03T21:21:00.005+08:00

A song that shaun used to sing in the ktv. The shaun in my v3 sony shop. We'd listen, drink and pool while he sings. Kinda miss the times then. With shaun, terris, patrik and sj. Now there's only sj and me. Company's dinner on wed.

and It show is coming up again. =)

2009-02-01T12:27:00.006+08:00

ytd was a crazy night, lol.
luckily i can hold my liquor well yesterday and not be embarrassed like them.

Gerald almost peed on the lamp post beside G2Max. well. he did it in the gents washing basin in the end anw.
Audre was GONE, just GONE.
Shaun? lol. He's not drunk, but HAHAHAA.
and surprisingly the timbre girl can remember my name.

what's done and said in the bar stays in the bar. LOL.

2009-01-31T15:10:00.001+08:00

puzzles... solved!

2009-01-31T02:04:00.005+08:00

I'm surprised that for the past few mornings i wake up and want to see

hmm!

-

ahah, although i might not get what i want at times, i wake up feeling excited nowadays.
excited about the possibilities in life.

experiences that i have'nt got.
disasters that i have'nt experienced.
people that i have'nt met.
asignments that i have'nt completed
achievements that i have'nt got.
jokes that i have'nt heard
amusements that i have'nt came across.

all, regardless good or bad, i'm excited. and i think that's the main motivation of life.

let's be excited.

2009-01-30T00:25:00.002+08:00

nowadays im addicted to running away

from food stalls after eating and not paying. lol.

oops!

2009-01-28T20:27:00.001+08:00

Think I've learnt my lesson,
so, yeah.

Have fun!

2009-01-27T21:59:00.006+08:00

Affairs of the heart has taken a toll on me for the whole of CNY. No wonder I felt that this year's CNY is the most boring. So many things happened and they have become so damn complicated. Why am I always in such complex situations.

It's crazy.

To keep myself sane, I think I'd just leave the mess and concentrate on other aspects of life.
After all, there's so much more to life.

2009-01-26T01:21:00.011+08:00

now i wonder how things have gotten so far. so different.
totally off our dreams. we didn't want this. never did.
sometimes i ponder how did everything happen.
there'd never be an answer except all the puzzles and memories left.

oh. happy two months two days.

alcohol doesnt help. it only brings out the hidden emotions.
this is the 6th time they drop for you.

will not reach 7.
this is the last time, baby.

i move on.
someone's waiting.

sry im drunk

2009-01-25T20:56:00.005+08:00

Something's amiss this cny. hmm, dinner seem to be lacking of quite some people.
Guess things are always changing, not a bad thing tho! =)

Do you know, your smiles are my encouragement in life.
So keep smiling and be happy,
while we both pursuit our own happiness.

Not forgetting, Happy Chinese New Year, PEOPLE!!

2009-01-24T21:49:00.004+08:00

Sometimes I wish there's someone older and wiser that can guide me along whenever I need. I realised that friends around me can rarely help cause usually I'm the more experienced one. I always have to rely on myself to rationalize and make decisions.

Decisions are not that hard to make. But following the decision made is so much harder. Even if I'm able to follow it on my own, here comes so many external factors after that sway me off path.

hmm.

but anyhow, life is great. I've learnt to enjoy life even in the midst of crazy piles of 7 projects with 40%, 30% weightage and also when I'm lonely. Hahah.

Hey, wo shi superman!

2009-01-24T09:25:00.001+08:00

I dreamt of you last night. You were smiling and chuckling in your room.
Please keep it that way.

=)

2009-01-20T23:31:00.005+08:00

i'm not always strong. sometimes when i'm sick and feeling down, how i wish u are right beside me.

but u and i know best.

2009-01-19T00:45:00.006+08:00

didn't want to. some stupid girl made me see. dont really bother. but subconsciously been trying to find but all the pieces do not fit.

im a little curious.

you girl. who exactly are you?

hmm...

moving on.

ALL craziness ends on wed, the projects. company's dinner on wed night. bet its gonna be as awesome as before.
shopping, reunion dinner, overnight mj on thurs.
mj and prolly rebel on fri.
mj again prolly! on sat
reunion dinner on sun and thats chinese new year alr.

hahaha, good motivation to press on till wed!

2009-01-16T22:17:00.003+08:00

Something that I've seen many months ago and happen to chance upon it again.

One day, a son asks his dad "Daddy, would you like to run a marathon with me?".
The father says "yes". And they run their first marathon together.

Another time, the son asks his dad again "Daddy, would you like to run a marathon with me?". The father says "yes son".

One day, the son asks his father " Daddy, would you run the Ironman with me?" The Ironman is the most difficult triathlon.

An Ironman Triathlon is one of a series of long-distance triathlon races organised by the World Triathlon Corporation consisting of a 2.4 mile (3.9 km) swim, 112 mile (180 km) bike and 26.2 mile (42.2 km) marathon run.

It was made famous by its grueling length, harsh race conditions, and television coverage.

2009-01-16T15:26:00.004+08:00

Hmm finally tonight my house would be quieter

It was satisfying doing Prmp with the guys two nights before.
And after another night yesterday with the main group we're now 70% done with EoF. Thought there'd be another stayover tonight cause we thought it's damn tough.

I think we can be very efficient if we want to, ahah. Hope they'd be well-graded, though!

oh well, suddenly feel a sense of loneliness after they're gone. Guess i'd go back hogc tmr if I'm on schedule for projs. Skipped it for two weeks in a row. Deadlines have been so damn tight. Think by wednesday we'd have submitted 7 projs in the span of 3 weeks.

moving on. those two pieces said almost exactly the same stuffs, same words and the similar reactions. can't help but raise my eyesbrows and then sigh.

and bro, if i can, so can you. things would only get better.

might be a blessing in disguise!

2009-01-12T20:06:00.005+08:00

It's sucky to go home at 6pm when every train is filled to the brim

And so I was, blasting Britney's Break The Ice on my earpiece while getting a seat on the lrt. I fell asleep quickly but something woke me up - the whiling of a boy. It's irritating especially when the day was long. So I turned up the knob, blasting it louder than the noise.

Then I got woken up again, this time the guy beside me was alighting. Then i saw another small boy walk quickly to the front of the seat, wait for the guy to get off, then quickly put his palm down the seat.

He then signaled for another person to come over.
It was for his toddler sister.

I can't help but smile at them.

=)

2009-01-11T15:59:00.010+08:00

Gosh, time pass so fast now it's alr nearing chinese new year. Got ang bao from my boss again, this time slightly more, of course! And gawd, i've alr worked here for a year alr. Still can vividly remember how i was introduced to this job at the mrt station by fel's friend who is shaun. He's not even here anymore. Hmm, and I'm looking forward to company dinner... hope i'd be going, lol, cuz the economy now is so damn bad you guys wont notice unless you are observant. The transaction and traffic flow here in Sim Lim has dropped so drastically it's scary. Hope my family won't be affected too much by the current recession, impending depression.

On the other note, cny is coming and that signifies parties and endless mj's. ahah. think we've got sick of poker and now addicted to mj. Damn addictied. I sense so many more stayovers.
hmm.

who's fault?

*grins*

2009-01-06T04:10:00.002+08:00

Looking back at 2008's resolution to be a better man, I think I've worked myself towards and hoped have somewhat achieved that, hahah.

I've decided to wake up at this unearthly hour to make my resolutions.

1. Have a break through in my studies. Reaching a level I've never been to.
2. Spend more time with my family.
3. Try to stay single.

So, have you made your resolutions?

2009-01-03T23:14:00.001+08:00

omg. shit, lol.

2009-01-01T15:49:00.005+08:00

gosh, raining on a new year? hmm, nvm. think my luck this year's even better.
won 1 on 3 on mj. =)) hahah fel, we're each other's luck star! for gambling!
one crazy night yesterday. had a countdown at Audre's house but better not to mention the unspeakable behavior on our way to esplanade after. lol.

oh ya, HAPPY 2009, PEEPS.

2008 had been an awesome year, tho everything dashed past so quickly. i'm alr nearing poly year 3. hmm, time seem to be getting faster every year eh.

i feel like i've gotta especially thank a few people for the past year. firstly,

my mum. she's always there silently for me, supporting me whenever i need. though we don't live together, she alwats make the effort to travel here, buy us breakfast, see if we're okay and need anything. i feel like i've gotten much closer to her now and i'd cherish her more.

my grandma. the most important person in my life. every since i'm born she's the one taking care of me. and never fail to give me a smile whenever i'm back home. oh, how have i neglected that? i'd now spend more time talking to her and listening to her grumbles. she's gotten cuter now she permed her hair, hahah.

my dad. he's not a vocal person. somewhat weak in communicating. and that's where i learnt from his weakness to fit in the modern world. he cares a lot for my bro and me and he always had to get my mum to communicate this to me. hahah. a very strong man. my very source of inspiration to be strong. once he almost went blind. has operation and eye swell to enormous size. blood dripping. but had no grumbles, no worries on his face. he was just continuing his life like normal. i'm so gald he had recovered and been healthy since then.

my special friend. you've been almost always there for me to confide in and whine at. everytime i would feel much better after ranting to you. i'm glad i'm able to lend you a listening ear and push you to think through stuffs, too! you've been a great friend. thank you! =)

and lastly, my group of friends! you guys know who you are. you guys have been awesome, really! let's have more crazy times in school and not forgetting crazy nights too!

2008-12-28T21:13:00.021+08:00

jeez, been anticipating for school. but thinking of all the undone projects im feeling so dead. omg. 6 deadlines are nearing. going crazy.

my group mates, please save ourselves. =( bless us.

-
*
Reach out your hands and I'd save you from all these. I just want to set you away, from the craziness. A world that's filled with fearful uncertainty and acute harshness. Just put yourself in the arms of mine, close your eyes, and gently i will carry you out of this mad world. Worry not a single thing. For I will cross all hurdles and brave all storms. Just fall asleep as i lay my palm on your eyes. And upon feeling a kiss on your eyes, you'd find yourself on the grass field, again, with gentle sweet breezes and red rose petals gliding on the winds. And looking towards the sun, you shall see the most beautiful rainbow cast across the blue sky.

will you reach out your hands?
tell me if you would. you know where to find me.

shh.. it's just between you and me.

fantasies.

hmmmm... =)

2008-12-26T22:02:00.001+08:00

Love is not possession.
Love is not hatred.
Love is not jealousy.

Love is simply wanting you to be happy. I love you always, girl. Be the happiest girl. I didn't manage to make you the happiest girl. I hope he can.
I'm glad you found your right one. =)

My blessings always.

2008-12-26T09:53:00.002+08:00

You found me.
I embrace you, the neverending love.
-

2008-12-23T08:21:00.014+08:00

Retrolicious was quite a blast. Hahha, didn't expect the guys to dress really retro.

LOL no, berns didn't wear this down to party.

Came across this familiar wishing thing at esplanade. Time flies...

2008-12-22T14:36:00.001+08:00

Retrolicious, here I come!
But I bet its not gonna be retro as the name suggests, at all.

lol. I should be happy.

See ya!

2008-12-22T00:41:00.001+08:00

I'm getting emo.

Who'd lay here with me? Away from this craziness? Anyone?

2008-12-21T23:30:00.006+08:00

but i should be happy...

cause...

A lcd TV on top of my monitor! =D

sorry i used to be a tech freak

hahaha. =)

2008-12-21T23:04:00.002+08:00

I swear I'm so going to die. My feelings are so mixed I can die.

Retrolicious is tmr and it seems promising, im excited. Christmas looks promising.

But I've so much inside. And project works SO MUCH UNDONE.

I'M SCREWED. just. SCREWED.

Somebody save me, will ya.

2008-12-21T01:11:00.006+08:00

i think i know. hmm. but i shouldn't know more.

i'm glad it is not too obvious.

well. let it be, boy.

cause i realised that simplicity is happiness. these bunch of guys, they can really be very wise. i'm glad i realised what can be happiness.

all the best. to you. and to me. =)

2008-12-19T23:09:00.009+08:00

my gawd, this holiday is quite boring. even though activities are aplenty, they are usually spaced out a day or half. used to like spending my time on comp all day long. now i can't even stand it for 2 hours.

school, start soon will ya.

meanwhile, i'm looking forward to tmr, Retrolicious and Christmas. I wonder how would it feel like spending it in a church. hmm.

some pictures sent back by my bro.

lol. he's a happy guy.

time to go back fantasizing about my future.

2008-12-19T00:52:00.005+08:00

funny that its always times like this i suddenly seem to have lots of friends. no matter how much i neglected them previously they just reappeared again. and realizes how much my family love me. i shall treasure those around me more than ever. especially my grandma and mum. =)

2008-12-17T16:51:00.003+08:00

Im sincerely glad that you've been happy and felt even happier.
I enjoy the amazing days we shared, stupid stuffs we did, and what we've went through together.
I'm proud of you, as always.
My heartfelt blessings to you... be the happiest girl of all.

2008-12-17T00:43:00.004+08:00

guess its really the secondary school friends that can make you feel comfortable even after many years of no-contact. i haven't met them for like almost 4 years. except jin yan of course. its heartwarming to see how far the rest have grown so much yet still have some traits of the younger days. keng han was my classmate and npcc mate for the full four years. were kinda close till mid of sec 3 that we sort of drifted away. well. they are envious of the aplenty girls in my course. im envious of being in a large group of guys. constantly being surrounded by girls would only make you feminine and sissy. right im becoming a sissy. =)))) f*. why top creative guys are usually sissys.

now they're all in NS. I WANNA GO NS TOO.

and i finally found people that can just sit and chill. maybe its because of our age. but i guess dmc peeps are just too active and restless to do that.

hmm. memories.

2008-12-16T12:44:00.003+08:00

Hmm. Since I entered JC, every single year I'd meet with a life disaster. I'm glad every time I'm able to experience the pain, understand it fully, and learn my lessons accordingly. Afterall, every disasters in life happen for a reason. My life seem to be a series of lessons I need, happening in perfect order. Its amazing to think back.

2005 i was retained. No friend really cared about me. Before that I was a living zoombie, walking around life without any purpose. I realised something is very wrong. I realised there's more to life. I embraced friendship and love for the next year. I'm proud of how many friends I have.

The end of 2006 was my darkest period of life. It seriously crushed my life flat. But luckily I had her to hold me tight up. It became the sweetest period of my life. I realised there's something wrong with my mentality. Life is not all about playing and having friends. The world is practical and so is life. I learnt that I have to be a useful person. I need to network, obtain skills especially planning for projects and PR, and be motivated and disciplined about work. I'm proud of my capability now.

2007. I almost lost her. It was devastating but still better than 2006. I learnt what it means to care, give in and coax. I became slightly softer in r/s.

I thought I'd skip this year since it was november alr. But disaster came all the way to its rightful place at the near end anyway. I guess there's no avoiding it. "Life goes like this. We get hit by little pebbles - as a kind of warning. When we ignore the pebbles, we get hit by a brick. Ignore the brick and we get wiped out by a boulder." - Matthew Well. Honestly, I guess i just didn't get the message. Hmm. Should have bought this book back a year ago, darn, lol. It's like my bible. Well. I lost her completely and thoroughly.

Initially I got it over easily until I presumed the post wrongly. Funny enough. If I didn't see the post, i'd probably not be upset but then again I'd have probably gotten this through without learning anything. I'm glad that now I realised what have to be learnt. Own space and life. I realised what I've made two of us miss out in life. I'm sorry. And I've my regrets. Now I've to move on my life.

Guess life is really just like a ladder. To move up, we have to fix the step we're on - whether its work, relationship, money, whatever. Once the step is fixed, we move to the next step. I've moved up 3 steps. I became stronger. From past experience now I can handle my disaster much easier.

Now, this is my fourth step.

How would I change after this? I'm actually quite excited to see myself one year later and reflect upon this day.

Dear god, I prayed to you last night to show me the answer and my rightful path. You answered me right after, as always. I believe in you as much as I believe in life itself. This system of life that you've created, I'm glad I'm able to see through the meaning of disasters. Life is truely wonderful. Thank you, god.

2008-12-16T02:51:00.001+08:00

FUCK. IM FEELING DAMN UPSET BUT YET LAUGHING AT MYSELF FOR BEING MISLED/READING WRONGLY. seriously. i feel like laughing but it sucks.

still seriously thinking, wtf wtf wtf!!! -___-

2008-12-14T23:50:00.006+08:00

If you're free, pretty boys and handsome ladies, help me do this!

My Advertising Campaign Survey

THANKS!

2008-12-14T23:34:00.002+08:00

Life is just so beautiful isn't it?

The good times and the bad. It is beautiful with the mix. =)

Silent Night - Corrinne May

2008-12-11T05:12:00.002+08:00

Mambo night was better than expected. =) Was surprised to see Feng Rui and Jones there. Looks like we'd have a new member to the group, ahahah.

2008-12-08T15:34:00.007+08:00

Following up, 2 designs done for Design Illustration. Ahaha, I'm proud of my work but don't laugh at how amateur they are, though.

First up, the requirement for design was to incorporate Japan elements into an Ice Cream product. So here goes. (the sumo picture is taken and edited from deviantart if i didn't remember wrongly)

Second up, the requirement for design was to design a book cover titled Funny Farm.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:

Funny farm, a pejorative slang term for a psychiatric hospital

So I pictured the book as a casual yet funny self-help book to avoid being the 7 commonly adopted yet are spiritually dysfunctional characters prominent in our society.

aight, off to make some designs for Oops! spreads.

2008-12-07T12:38:00.012+08:00

I love times like this.
I have more friends than I think. I'm more likable than I think.

All these self-talks.
I've grown. Matured. Stronger. More sensible. I'm proud of that.

All these reflections.
Who's really the important ones. Who really cares for me. How have I neglected them. I have to change my temper back. I have to accept people as they are like how I used to do.

My new plans.
Never look back. Spend more time for the important ones. Talk more to the person up there. =)